To the Version of Me I’ve Outgrown

Thank you for surviving so I could finally live.

Dear Me —

The version of me who was lost, hurting, pretending, and surviving…

I want you to know first: I love you. I truly do. I honor you. I thank you.

You were doing your best with what you had — and what you had was pain, silence, confusion, and a whole lot of responsibility on your shoulders way too soon. You didn’t even know how deeply broken you were, because you didn’t have the tools to see it yet. How could you? No one taught you. No one showed you. And still — you found a way to keep going.

You thought survival was the only way to live, and so you built a life around it. You were navigating heartbreak, trauma, and abandonment while still trying to raise children, maintain relationships, and figure out who you were — all without a foundation of self-worth or identity. You were chasing love, not knowing it was really safety you were after. You were craving validation, because you didn’t know you already had value.

You didn't know that the little girl who was sexually abused never got to be safe in her own body — and that you carried that disconnect into womanhood. You gave your body away hoping it would bring connection, but it never filled the void. And how could it? That kind of love only comes from within, from God, from wholeness.

I see now that you were stuck in cycles — legal trouble, dishonesty, housing instability, broken relationships — not because you were careless, but because you were carrying unhealed energy, survival instincts, and limiting beliefs that were never yours to begin with. You didn't yet know how to rise above your programming. You thought struggle was normal. You thought lack was love. You thought chaos was your fault.

And yet, you paved the way for me. You carried me here.

Because of your choices, your mess, your tears — I get to live in alignment now. I get to raise my voice and my standards. I get to walk in truth. You were the cocoon, and I am the butterfly. You were the mud, and I am the bloom. You didn’t get it “wrong” — you got me here.

So today, I release you with love.

I forgive you for what you didn’t know.

I release the guilt of not being the mother I wanted to be.

I release the shame of giving away my body and my worth.

I release the belief that I’m not worthy of abundance, stability, or joy.

I release the need to control, to perform, to prove.

I release the old patterns — even the ones still trying to linger.

Thank you for your role in my becoming. But I don’t need you anymore.

I am finally home in myself.

I am connected to God.

I am walking in truth.

And from this place — I rise.

Love,

The woman you made possible.

The girl who made me into the woman I am